The Party

Hello dear reader,

Today’s one of those days that I really struggle through. It’s been a rough few weeks, to be totally honest. When things go on for an extended period, my physical pain calls the mental pain and they throw a big party.

I’ve had this same headache for three weeks now. A little over a week ago, my oxygen levels and blood pressure decided they wanted to join in. Oxygen levels can be handled. I have a machine in my house, and I just drag tubing around behind me. The blood pressure? That’s a different deal. I have hypotension, which means my BP goes low. That’s something I just have to ride out unless it gets to the point that I have to go to the hospital.

The continuous headache makes my neck and shoulders spasm. That’s easy enough… take a muscle relaxer, right? But muscle relaxers lower your blood pressure and respiration, so which is worse?

When all this has gone on for a while, the final guest arrives… depression. It brings its own friends like “What’s the point?”, “This is never going away.” and “You’re useless.” They sap away any little bit of energy I have hidden away.

Tim left for work around 6 this morning and will get home around 5 this evening. He works hard all day. My big accomplishment today? I got dressed and crawled back into bed. I’ll have to text him soon and ask him to stop at the store and get a “quick fix” for dinner because I can’t stand up long enough to cook. He’ll say, “No problem honey.” and after working all day he’ll stand in line at the grocery store to get something he can just pop into the oven. He deserves so much better.

This has turned into a rant, which wasn’t my intention at all. So why post it?

Because I think people who deal with this need to know they aren’t alone…

Because tomorrow may be different and give someone hope…

Because it’s my truth…

Until next time…

8 thoughts on “The Party

  1. I was just reading about Arnold chiari syndrome. Now I understand more about headaches. Your hypotension is also due to that. Not sure if adding a little salt to the juice would help as it is a brainstem and CSF condition.
    I will read up more to understand it fully, but you are extremely courageous.
    When I get my headaches, I know I am unable to function, but meds help. But getting a headache for weeks is unimaginable. I have no words to express my awe and respect.
    Would you think about writing a memoir of your life?
    I will find out if something else can help.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve thought about writing a memoir, just don’t know quite how to get there. If you look at my old posts, it’s kinda like reading a memior just in a confusing time frame, 🤪


      1. I got that. I did look into parts of your old posts. I have no idea where you find your courage from. I am speechless, what do I say to an awesome woman like you.?


  2. I do not know your medical history but for low blood pressure, where you start getting dizziness and unable to walk then salt is the only solution. If possible freshly squeezed lemon juice with a pinch of salt and spoon of sugar helps in bringing back the blood pressure to normal in 10min

    Liked by 1 person

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