Hello dear reader,
Before you read this, I think I should put a ‘disclaimer’ of sorts. I promised you this blog would be honest and always open for discussion. I did not promise I would have all the answers. Those of you wanting a refund can get in line with the rest of the bill collectors. Now that we’ve cleared that up…onward!
I think most women have issues of some kind with their body. We wish we were thinner or curvier, shorter or taller, look younger, or had eyelashes it didn’t take a magnifying glass (or a tube of mascara) to find. Okay, that last one is probably just me, but you get the point. A lot of us try to meet unrealistic expectations.
I’m getting older, and that fact alone has changed my expectations. I’ll never look like I did at 20, or even 40. My body seems to have aged at least 20 years in the last five, which I think just plain sucks!
Appearance is only a piece of it. I can’t do the things I used to do. I raised four kids, kept a (reasonably) clean house, and if I slept more than five hours at night I was useless the next day. These days the kids are grown and live in their own homes, I need help to be able to keep my house even semi-clean, and I usually sleep ten hours a night and need a nap in the afternoon.
I’ve talked before about being gentle, loving, and kind to ourselves…like we would with a friend. But I have to admit that if I had a friend who treated me the way my body does, it wouldn’t consider it a very good friendship. I’m struggling with being loving toward a body that only works about 30% of the time, and hurts 75% of the time (I would say 100%, but there is all that sleeping to consider). What kind of friend is that?
There’s no life lesson in this post, I’m sorry to say. If I figure out an answer, you’ll be the first to know. If you have an answer, I’d be very grateful if you’d share it.
On another note, since I’m asking for advice anyway, I need a new name for this blog. It amazes me how naive I can be about some things, but apparently the word “chronic” is associated with marijuana, so the title is misleading. Who knew? Don’t answer that. So I need a name that makes people think about trying to live with chronic illness/pain, vs simply existing…and not about weed.
Until next time…