Memorial in Washington

This whole situation makes me angry because people like me, and many of you I’m certain, are being treated like we’re doing something horrible by using pain meds for what they were intended to be used for.

Hello dear reader.

The purpose of this blog is to try to find ways to enjoy life as much as possible while dealing with chronic illness/pain. Recently, however, I’m fighting for any quality of life.

I’m talking about our government’s decision to end opioid use. I’ve written before about the difference between use and abuse.

I read an article on Medium about the “Prescribed to Death” memorial being put up in Washington. Here’s the link if you’re interested:

I have to say in all honesty, this article infuriated me. This was my response:
I am so sorry for people who have lost someone to a drug overdose. That being said, I think this “memorial” is one of the worst ideas I’ve heard.
I live with chronic, debilitating pain constantly. Without the opiods I’m prescribed I would be dead. Period. I take the minimum amount of medication I can and still function. I don’t abuse my medication.
I went so far as to have electrodes implanted in my head (TENS unit). I’ve had my nerves burned. The list goes on and on. Nothing has worked. So I rely on pain meds to get out of bed in the morning, be as functional as possible throughout the day, and be able to sleep at night. I’m one of the majority of people who take opiods. The ones who don’t have a choice, who are responsible and careful with them, the ones who are being threatened with a death sentence by the government.
So put up your memorial if it makes you feel better. And start digging graves for the people like me.

Here’s an example of how insane this situation is becoming…I’m always very careful to read the information sheets when I start on a new medication. I want to be aware of potential side effects and interaction issues. I was put on a different pain medication last week. No matter how responsibly you take them, your body will build up a tolerance over time and they will no longer work. After spending 6 weeks in bed because I was in too much pain to move, my doctor and I decided I had reached that point. I was shocked when I read the information sheet on this new medication. There was nothing about side effects. There were no instructions about things like whether it needed to be taken with food. There were two pages of small print as usual, but the only information was about how addictive opiods can be, how dangerous they can be, how if you took them while pregnant 😯 the baby would be born addicted, and on and on. I had to look the medication up online to find out potential side effects and instructions. Does anyone realize how dangerous that is, to not know which side effects are normal and which are life threatening?

This whole situation makes me angry because people like me, and many of you I’m certain, are being treated like we’re doing something horrible by using pain meds for what they were intended to be used for. It terrifies me because I feel like my quality of life is being threatened… actually, my life itself. Nobody can be expected to live in constant agony, unable to function at all. Suicide rates are going to jump drastically if our government succeeds in making narcotics, opiods, opiates, etc. impossible to get.

Normally I would apologize for going on a rant, but not this time.

What do you think about this issue?
How do you feel about it?
I’d really like some feedback.

Until next time…


It’s just plain wrong!

Hello dear reader,

Those of you who follow my blog know that I try to avoid discussions about religion and politics.  The intention of my blog is not to stir up controversy.  That being said, sometimes there are things that I simply cannot be silent about.  This is one of those times.  I doubt there is anyone who hasn’t known about the George Zimmerman case, or that doesn’t know about the verdict.  But do you know about the Marissa Alexander case?  Let me tell you a story courtesy of Huffington Post writer Mich Stacy.

Marissa Alexander is a 31 year old African American woman.  She is the mother of a toddler and 11 year old  twins.  She has never been in trouble with the law.  She  has a Master’s degree and an estranged husband who she’s very afraid of.  So Marissa did what the law said she should do.  She applied for, and was granted, a restraining order.  You know, that amazing document that means you have nothing more to fear.  As a survivor of domestic violence, I will never understand that line of thinking.  I was told by my abuser, “It’s a piece of paper.  It ain’t f*****g bulletproof.”  If you have a restraining order,  the police might…maybe…make your abuser leave when he’s broken into your house in the middle of the night.  Again.  But that’s my story.  Let’s get back to Marissa’s. 

Marissa went home to get some clothes {why is the victim always the one who has to run and hide?} expecting her estranged husband to be gone.  He wasn’t.  An argument ensued, and Marissa got very scared.  She was afraid he was going to kill her.  She went out to her car and got the gun.  It was legally registered to her.  She went back into the house (still trying to get some clothes).  When the situation continued to escalate, Marissa fired a warning shot into the wall.

Now let’s look briefly at George Zimmerman’s story, courtesy of Huffington Post writer Jermaine Spradely.  George is a 29 year old insurance fraud investigator who identifies himself as Hispanic.  He is married, has no children, and lives in a gated community.  After failing to become a police office, George settled for volunteering with his local neighborhood watch.  He had previously been accused of domestic violence against a former girlfriend and had been arrested for assault on a police officer.  A younger female cousin has accused him of nearly two decades of sexual molestation and assault.  This same cousin talks about George’s family being “proudly racist against African Americans.”

George was on patrol one evening when he saw a young African American male walking down the street.  The teenager looked suspicious to George because of his “unnaturally slow and meandering gait.”  Yep, he was walking too slow.  So George did what he was supposed to do.   He called the non-emergency hotline for police assistance as he had done on numerous other occasions.  He was told not to follow the young man or even get out of his vehicle.  George had a better idea.  He got out of his SUV, made sure the safety was off on his gun, and began to follow the young man.  Not very much later George shot and killed Trayvon Martin.

Now here’s where it gets really crazy.  George Zimmerman was found not-guilty by a jury of six women.  Marissa Alexander, after turning down plea deals because she had faith in the judicial system, was found guilty of using a gun in the commission of a felony by her jury.   Even though nobody was hurt at all, they said the bullet could have ricocheted and hurt someone.  Marissa was sentenced to 20 years of prison.

After George Zimmerman’s verdict, President Obama called the case a “tragedy.”  He said, “I know this case has elicited strong passions, and in the wake of the verdict I know those passions may be running even higher.  But we are a nation of laws, and a jury has spoken.  I now ask every American to respect the call for calm reflection from two parents who lost their young son.”

After Marissa Alexander’s verdict, US Representative Corrine Brown D-Jacksonville had this to say.  “The Florida justice system has sent two clear messages today.  One is that if women who are victims of domestic violence try to protect themselves,  the “Stand Your Ground” law will not apply to them….the second is that if you are black, the system will treat you differently.”

So what happened?  Was it racism?  Was it that this country continues to condone domestic violence?  Regardless of the reason, two people lost their lives for no good reason.  And another person literally got away with murder.  I’m saddened.  I’m disappointed in our judicial system.  Most of all I am angry.  I cannot and will not keep silent about such injustice!

Until next time…