Happy

It’s so good just to be here with my daughter.

Hello dear reader.

I’m laying down for a little rest, trying hard to keep the headaches under control. So far, so good. It’s definitely there, but they’re staying manageable.

Anyway, I thought I’d take this opportunity to sort of check in and update you on my visit.

Yesterday we didn’t do much, sat around the house, but I enjoyed every minute of it. It’s so good just to be here with my daughter. The best thing has been seeing how happy she is. She and her husband are doing great. They recently moved into a new house which she loves (with good reason, this place is gorgeous). She’s been working as a teacher at a daycare/school for a little over a year now. It’s the perfect job for her. She loves it and is extremely good at it. Tomorrow she’s bringing me to the school to meet her kids (she took the day off) and I can’t wait. I’ve heard so many stories about these kids I feel like I already know them.

Originally, I was going to leave for home Tuesday morning. That’s changed. Her kids are doing a “program” Tuesday evening. They’ve been practicing their songs and dances. So I’m going to stay another day so I can go to that. It’ll work out well because she and her husband will be at work during the day, so I can spend it resting. Then I’ll get back on the road Wednesday morning.

I have to brag about my husband a little bit. When I talked to him about extending my stay here he wasn’t just okay with it, he was happy for me that I would get to go see the program. He told me that I should soak up every opportunity to enjoy myself. I’m truly a fortunate woman to have such a caring and understanding man.

Until next time…

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I’m here

These are the things that make everything worth it.

Hello dear reader.

I made it. I’m here with my daughter and son-in-law. Hugging her is one of the best feelings in the world.

Louissa is one of my very best friends. I don’t know if that’s common with a mother and daughter, but I feel extremely blessed to have that relationship with her.

I wrote a post the other day about how friends can become family. I think that happens more often than family becoming friends does. That’s been my experience at least.

I write a lot about how hard it is to deal with chronic pain. I think it’s even more important for me to write about how thankful I feel right now. These are the things that make everything worth it.

Until next time…

Home and Family (part 2)

The thing is, family isn’t necessarily about the people you’re related to.

Hello dear reader.

I left you hanging with part 1, and I apologise for that. Life sometimes gets in the way of our best intentions. But here we are, better late than never.

In part 1 I talked about moving across the country and being stuck somewhere I didn’t belong for almost 30 years. I finally found my home in the Rocky mountains of Colorado. Now let’s finish the story.

As I said, I didn’t know anyone when I moved here. I got a job in the General Store/Post Office in the village of Twin Lakes, which has a year-round population of about 25. There are a lot of people who have summer homes there and tons of tourists in the summer. But winter is very quiet. It’s like living in a big family. So obviously I became close to my fellow villagers. I was married when I moved there and had my two youngest children with me.

During the summer I worked in front of a big picture window with an incredible view and met people from all over the world. It was paradise!

Things weren’t going well at all with my marriage. We decided to find a church to start going to, hoping that would help. So Sunday morning we headed to town, found the steeple and went in. We quickly discovered it wasn’t the church we had intended to go to, but it was a wonderful mistake. Coming to St. George’s was like coming to the mountains. It was where I belonged. My husband didn’t like it and stopped going, but I’ve been a part of it ever since the first time I walked through the door. Within two years of moving to Colorado, the marriage ended and he moved away. By that time I had a family in the village and a family in St. George’s. I wasn’t going anywhere.

The thing is, family isn’t necessarily about the people you’re related to. Family is about the people in your life that are there for you, the people you can count on. Family, in my opinion, are people who really know you and accept your for who you are. They’re the ones who take the time to look past the “I’m fine,” and see what’s really going on with you. Family is the people you know will love you no matter what, even if they don’t agree with you.

This is one of my sisters that I’m not related to at all making a toast at my wedding:

She has been with me through thick and thin. I’ve tried hard to always be there for her as well. We tell each other the truth even when it’s hard. I love her so much!

Family is something you choose, as well as something you’re born into, and home is where family is.

What does family mean to you?

Until next time…

Fortunate Son: A book review

The only thing that isn’t clear is who’s a good guy and who’s a bad guy. Turns out there’s a little bit of both in most people, but not all.

Wow! This book grabbed me at the first page and didn’t let go. It’s hard to say what the story is about because there are several stories happening at once. They’re all connected, and J.D. Rhoades does an amazing job with the characters. You get to know them all and, love them or hate them, you have a clear understanding of their motives and how they fit in the big picture. The only thing that isn’t clear is who’s a good guy and who’s a bad guy. Turns out there’s a little bit of both in most people, but not all.
The ending couldn’t have been more perfect. I absolutely loved this book and will be looking for more from this author.
I was given a free copy of this book by Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review.

This book is scheduled for publication on August 14, 2018.

Wedding emotions

Hello dear reader.

I hope you had a good 4th of July.   It’s so much more than a barbeque or fireworks, or even sales.  It’s a celebration of this country’s beginning.  Things have changed a lot since then….some for the better and a lot for the worse.  I’m not going to get into a political speech, so we’ll just leave it at that.

The wedding is three weeks from tomorrow and I have to admit I’m really starting to feel a lot of things I didn’t expect to feel.  Not about the marriage, I’m totally on board and happy about that.  It’s more about the wedding itself.  I think we as people, and more so as women, have unrealistic expectations about weddings.  That makes it easy for things to disappoint us.  I’ve found myself facing a few of those things lately.  Maybe a better way to put that would be that every now and then things happen in my life that bring up long buried pain, loss and disappointment.  Getting married is apparently one of those things.

Any of you who have read my blog in the past, or who know me at all, know how rocky my relationship with my family is.  My mother isn’t coming because I didn’t invite her.  I actually would have loved to have her there, but I refuse to have my step-father there and I can’t have one without the other.  It’s not a new concept in my life, it’s always been that way.  That’s something I came to terms with ages ago, but it’s something that continues to bring me a sense of pain and loss.  In the last ten years that hole has been filled by an absolutely amazing woman named June.  She can’t come because of her health, though she would dearly love to be there and I would dearly love to have had her escorted in as the mother of the bride.  She’s been more of a mother to me in ten years than the woman who gave birth to me was in nearly 50 years.  Before she had to move (several states away) I had asked her to do my bouquets for the wedding.  What that woman can do with flowers is phenomenal!  

In the last several months I had come to terms with June not being able to come and was seriously thinking about having Brenda take that place.  Brenda died almost two weeks ago. 

My father isn’t coming because he can’t.  He’s locked up in a forensic mental hospital for  the rest of his life, where he’s been for  most of  my life.  I’ve never seen him outside of a locked facility, at least not since I was a toddler.  There was one other man who was special enough to me that I asked him to walk me down the isle and give me away.  He will be out of town the weekend of the wedding.  Since he can’t be in two places at once, I’m walking in by myself. 

None of my siblings are coming, and none of my grandchildren.  Maybe two, but more likely one of my children will be there.  When I look at all of this as a whole, it makes me feel very alone.  Don’t get me wrong.  There will be many friends there who are very important to me.  It’s the people that I share a blood relationship with that will be absent.  In most ways the community of Leadville and especially St. George’s are my family.  They’re the ones who have loved and supported me.  So why should I be upset about my “family” not caring?  I wish I knew the answer to that, but I don’t.  There’s no logic to it.

I got a package in the mail today.  June made the bouquets and boutonnieres with beautiful white paper roses and other artificial flowers.  They’re utterly stunning!  In the box with the flowers was a card signed by my “adopted mother.”  Carrying the flowers she so lovingly put together for me is a way to have her  there, not in body, but without a doubt in spirit.

I don’t remember if I mentioned the conversation Brenda and I had about the wedding two days before she died.  She told me that if she died before the wedding she was going to “haunt it.”  It was said jokingly, but I’m holding her to that.

I can’t say I’m marrying the man of my dreams.  Tim is more than I ever knew I could dream about.  I didn’t know men like him existed.  He’s loving and giving.  He’s smart and funny.  He’s a hard worker and a great provider.  I could go on and on.  These are the things I want to focus on.  These are the things I should focus on.   These are the things I will focus on.  I have a life that I never imagined I would have and I will never take that for granted.

Until next time…

Lots of news

Hello dear reader.

Before I say anything else, i need to apologize for my long absence. It was caused by many factors which I’m not going to list here. Bottom line….. I’m very story. It won’t happen again. Please forgive me?

On to better news…

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This is Duke, the newest member of our little family. He is 8 months old. He had a very rough start in life. He was found living under an abandoned trailer at an Indian reservation in Arizona. He was with his mother and a younger litter of puppies. Duke and his mother were both literally skeletal (we have pictures, but I won’t do that to you). The younger litter was almost dead from dehydration since the mother had no nutrients to make milk from. There is a lady out there who goes out onto the reservation rescuing dogs. I don’t know her name, but God bless her! Duke was so afraid of people that it took two months of her bringing food out there to him before he would go with her.

Duke needed a place to feel safe and secure, a place flowing with food and water. It took a couple days (of course) for him to relax. But I think you’ll agree he has done that now…

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He is stretched out on the couch hugging the toy he was playing with when he fell asleep. Yes, the tip of his ear is missing. That’s part of that rough start too.

Duke is a shepherd mix. He howls like a husky and has spots on his belly like a healer…his face kind of has that shape too…so we think he is a shepherd/husky/healer. Whatever he’s made up of, he is just as sweet as he can be!

On to other news…Wow! I heard that in a TV anchor-person voice! Weird!…

I finally got my MRI done last week and will see the doctor to discuss the results a week from Thursday (the 6th). I should know then where we need to go from here to try to get some semblance of my life back. That’s a pretty important date for me. Of course I’ll post about it.

Those of you who are waiting for more of “Shining Moon” won’t be waiting much longer. The next part will be posted by the end of the week.

Thank you for your patience, your support, and your willingness to read a semi-crazy woman’s writing.

Until next time….