Father’s Day Nightmare

What’s happening to them constitutes nothing short of torture.

Hello dear reader.

I normally keep my political positions to myself, but I just can’t stay silent about the horror that is going on right now. I’m talking about the immigrant children who have been separated from their parents. I don’t know where to begin saying how many ways this is wrong. I’m appalled that something like this is happening in this country.

These people are being charged with a crime for trying to find a safer life for themselves and their children. They’re being incarcerated for this. Some have tried to come into the country illegally out of desperation, but many have followed the law to ask for asylum. For this they’re labled criminals. Their children are being taken because they can’t be incarcerated because of a crime their parents committed. Instead they are taken forcefully from the parents and incarcerated in a different facility. This is insane!

These children are being psychologically damaged in ways most of them will never recover from. What’s happening to them constitutes nothing short of torture. I can’t overstate the cruelty of this. Why is it happening? It’s happening as a political tool. Think about that for a moment, let it sink in. Children are being tortured and permanently damaged so our so-called president can get his way. Permanent damage

I’m ashamed that this is being allowed to happen. Many articles I’ve read are seeking lawyers to help these poor children, which I’m not. I want to help these poor children and the only way I can think of to do that is to speak out against this. I don’t have a huge following, but I’m using the small platform I have to do that. I wish with my whole broken heart that I could do more.

So today, on father’s day, hold your children close to you and say a prayer for the fathers who’ve been stripped of their children for the crime of trying to give them a safe life. Say a prayer for the roughly 2,000 children who have no idea what they’ve done wrong to cause them to be removed from their parents and jailed. Say a prayer for them as they sit in a detention center wondering if they’ll ever see their parents again. Please.

Heartbreaking,

If you’re in a position to do more than say a prayer, then do more. That’s what I’m trying to do here.

Until next time…

Breaking news!!

https://www.texastribune.org/2018/06/20/trump-order-immigrant-families-together-separated/

Thank God!!!

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Scared

Hello dear reader.

I promised you complete honesty at the beginning of this journey.  You know I try very hard to be positive, to be thankful for everything in my life.  You also know that my health is not great.  Today is not a good day.  As a matter of fact, the last several weeks have been quite rough.  I haven’t written in a few days because I was hoping I would feel better, both physically and mentally, before I wrote again.  Sometimes it’s hard to see the difference between complete honesty and a pity-party.  This is not the latter.  This is me being honest about myself.   That said, I’m going to tell you what happened today that scared the crap out of me.

Let me begin at the beginning…I’ve had problems with kidney stones for a long time.  My kidneys, as well as the tubes between the kidneys and the bladder, are full of them.  This, along with my lousy immune system makes me more succeptible to kidney infections.  I’ve had the flank pain for almost a month this time, but didn’t go to the doctor until my temperature shot up to 102 a little over a week ago.  When I got to the doctor the fever wasn’t there but she gave me antibiotics anyway.  Of course I got the whole “if you aren’t better in a few days or if it gets worse…” deal.  I took my antibiotics religiously and didn’t miss a dose.  After a week of them, the pain isn’t just in my right flank anymore.  It now goes around and inside my hip bone.  It feels kind of like a vice on my right midside.  My temperature has stayed around 99-100.  So I called the doctor’s office and made an appointment for today.  Okay, there’s the background.

When it got close to time for me to leave I gathered the things that I needed to bring.  I also realized that I had forgotten to take the chicken for tonight out of the freezer, so I did that too.  In order to be sure it would be thawed out in time, I put it into the sink with water.  I left my house with time to spare so I wouldn’t have to stress about being late.  So here I was, driving up the pass with no worries listening to the radio. Just as I got to the summit of the pass I suddenly realized I hadn’t turned off the water in the sink.  I racked my brains.  Surely I didn’t leave it on!  But I couldn’t remember turning it off no matter how hard I tried.  I tried to think who I could call to go turn it off for me.  There are several people I know would do it, but who would Duke let into the house?  I didn’t trust him with anyone, especially without Tim or I there.  So I turned around and headed back to the house to turn off the water.  Traffic was totally stressing me out!  Every minute that passed I could envision the water getting deeper and deeper in the kitchen.  Would it spread onto the hardwood floors?  What kind of damage would that do?  Finally, after what seemed like forever, I got to the house.  I stopped on the side of the road and jumped out of the truck without even turning it off, much less locking it.  I ran as fast as I could to the front door and fought with the lock, got in and ran to the kitchen to see how bad it was….

There was no water running.  Everything was fine.   Of course by then there was no way for me to make it to the doctor in time.  I called and told them I would be a few minutes late, but they said if I was late I wouldn’t be seen.  So I rescheduled for tomorrow.  No big deal, right?  Happy ending, right?  No.  Not even close.

My short-term memory hasn’t worked very well since they removed the back part of my brain (see my post on Chiari Malformation).  I’ve learned to work around it some.  I write things down and set reminders on my phone for appointments and phone calls that need to be made, things like that.  But this split from reality, whatever you want to call it, how do I work around that?  It’s one more thing that scares me to death.  I’m terrified that my conscious brain’s functioning is getting worse.  I’m too young to be senile, aren’t I?

I was 100% certain I left that water running.  How could I be that certain and be wrong?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m over-reacting, maybe I have reason to be afraid.  Either way, that’s where I am.  That’s how I feel.  Tomorrow will be better.  I’m 100% certain.

Until next time…

Love or fear?

Good morning dear reader.

Sorry I’ve been AWAL for a while.  Time seems to fly by much too quickly these days. Anyway, I’m here now and that’s what matters, right?

I found a quote not long ago that I want to share with you. I’ll tell you my feelings about it and I’d love to hear what your thoughts are…deal?

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.
by Marianne Williamson

Think about that for a minute. We are born with love as our primary emotion. We give it away completely and freely asking only to have it given back to us. We are innocent and, more importantly, unscarred.

Soon we learn that there are people outside our circle of love. The world is a much bigger place than we ever imagined. At first, we try to give our love to all the people in this huge world. Some respond with love in return, as expected. But there are others who respond with anger or hurtfulness. That hurts. It teaches us not to give our love so freely and completely. Why? Because we become afraid of that pain.

Anyone who has been reading my blog knows I learned fear very early on. My heart wasn’t the only thing that got hurt…my body got hurt too. That made the fear much bigger. Here’s the strange part…I kept giving my love, hoping to find someone who would give it back to me, someone I wouldn’t have to be afraid of. For a long time I found that in my children. They were innocent and unscarred and gave their love completely and freely. I wanted it to stay that way forever. Unfortunately that isn’t what happens, is it? Children grow up. They get hurt and become afraid.

The spiritual journey Marianne Williamson speaks of is a very difficult one. We are asked to overcome all the hurts and the fear and give our love completely and freely again. Only by giving it can we learn to accept it back. That can be a dangerous thing….giving our love as we did before we learned to be afraid. We’re no longer in that little bubble. We know that giving our love can be a dangerous and hurtful thing. However, if we can overcome that fear wonderful things can happen. If we don’t, nothing will ever change. We’ll live out our lives alone in our scarred hearts.

I’m so very thankful that I took that spiritual journey. Don’t misunderstand me. It wasn’t easy. As a matter of fact, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But the end result was worth every tear. I now get to spend the rest of my life giving that love and having it given back to me. That’s a beautiful thing.

What do you think? Is that journey one worth taking? Is it worth the risk of being hurt again? Should you try to “unlearn the fear” so that you’re able to “accept love” back into your heart? Think about it, then tell me your story.

By the way, I have a couple of wedding pictures to show you. The entire wedding album is on Facebook as well as Google+ if you want to see more.

Until next time…

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Wedding vows

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You may kiss the bride

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Toasts with sparkling grape juice
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Rings and flowers

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The whole wedding party and Tim's mom

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We're really married!!