Lessons

Some lessons are more important than others, some are easier to learn than others, and it’s a life-long endeavor.

Hello dear reader.

I hope all the mothers out there had a wonderful mother’s day. I had a very emotional day. I spent quite a bit of time talking with two of my children, my mother, and my mother-in-law, which was great. I also spent a lot of time feeling how much I miss the two of my children who aren’t speaking to me. I always miss them, but it hits me harder on holidays and birthdays. I’ve tried to turn it into a learning experience, though probably not the way you’d think. I’m not going to go into the whole mess about why the situation is the way it is except to say that most of it was beyond my control. The biggest thing I’ve learned from it is that I can’t hold myself responsible for other peoples’ behavior, only how I react to their choices. I can’t force my will on anyone else. I can choose to stop putting myself in situations that open me up for further pain. That was a difficult thing for me to understand. Lesson learned.

Here’s another situation that’s not nearly as important, but is still a learning experience. I read over my last post and realized how scattered it was, definitely not my best writing. I think it turned out that way because I was trying to fit in too many things. I was more concerned with it not being overly long than I was with clarity. What did I learn from that? I learned that clarity needs to be priority. I should have either let the post run longer or split it up. Lesson learned.

Some learning experiences are a work in progress. I’ve learned them in my head but struggle with learning them in my life. For example, I blew my back out yesterday. I’m in a huge amount of pain today and can’t walk at all without my cane. I guess I need to quit doing crazy things like vacuuming the floor. The lesson I’m struggling so much with is that I have no reason to feel guilty. I know for a fact I didn’t do anything wrong, yet I still feel guilty for not being able to cook dinner for my husband. I feel guilty about having to cancel a doctor appointment I had scheduled for tomorrow. It’s five hours round trip and even if I got someone else to drive, the ride would be absolute torture. I have no reason to feel guilty, yet I still do. Lesson in progress.

Some lessons are more important than others, some are easier to learn than others, and it’s a life-long endeavor. What are some of the hardest/most important lessons you’ve learned?

Until next time…

Advertisements

The Strength of a Woman

My body is weak because of the illnesses I deal with, but I’m stronger on the inside than I’ve ever been.

Hello dear reader.

https://wp.me/p97n9P-7B

I found this poem on Meraki Forever and had to share it with you. It blew me away! I had planned to write about the strength of women, so this was perfect. While you’re there, check out some of his other poems. He’s very talented.

The thing that got me thinking about it was that Tim and I went to the shooting range today so I could get used to the gun he bought me. It’s been 30+ years since I shot a gun, and it was a little 22. This one’s a 45. I did better than I expected to.

Those are all mine.

Thank goodness Tim had some very good ear protection for me to wear. That gun is loud!

I started to think about how far I’ve come. I spent a lot of my life feeling weak and helpless. I let people walk all over me. My self-worth was completely tied up with what other people thought.

My body is weak because of the illnesses I deal with, but I’m stronger on the inside than I’ve ever been. I know who I am. Of course it’s nice when I can make others happy, but I don’t need that to feel good about myself.

I know this is a different direction than my posts usually go, but it’s where my head is today. And you, dear reader, get to go with me.

I honestly don’t know how much of the changes are about age, or experience, or just about growth. It’s probably all of the above. I didn’t learn who Lynnette was until I was in my 40’s. I knew who I was as a mother, a wife, a daughter, but not who I was as an individual. When I took the time to finally do that I was surprised to learn that I was a lot stronger than I thought. My confidence climbed. My only regret is that I didn’t take the time to learn that earlier. I know I’d have been a better example to my children if I had.

I feel like I’m starting to ramble here, so I’m going to stop with a question… Have you taken the time to get to know yourself? What did you discover?

Until next time…

Mixed bag

My goal is to focus on the positive as much as possible.

Hello dear reader,

It seems everyone is as stumped about renaming this blog as I am. I honestly didn’t expect it to be so difficult! But I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

So what’s new with me? Actually, there are a couple of things.

The one I’m most excited about is that I’m going to enter a short story writing contest. I’m taking a brief course on writing short stories that has already opened my eyes to some things I had never really thought of before. Of course, dear reader, when my entry is complete I’ll be sharing it with all of you 😏.

I’m also taking a course about WordPress called “WordPress Apprentice.” There are tons of courses out there, but I’m a technotard and end up more confused after the class than I was before I watched the videos. This is the best one I’ve found. I’ve been trying to learn more about the website part of things, and just kind of winging it in the meantime. I’m certain that’s been obvious. Now you can look forward to the site improving slowly but surely from here on out.

I interviewed a possible new caregiver. I need desperately to find one. I simply can’t keep up with even basic housework these days. (Anyone looking for a job with a really great boss?) I’ll let you know how that turns out. 🤞

So there’s the exciting stuff. It obviously doesn’t take much to excite me these days 😉.

The not so exciting stuff is that I’m stuck laying in a dark room with a massive headache again. Today’s day two. Hopefully there won’t be a day three.

And last but not least, my PC doctor had me do this thing called “Cologaurd” so I could avoid the colonoscopy that I’m about three years overdue for. They mail you a kit, you put a stool sample in it, and mail it back. Easy peasy. They look for DNA markers for cancer and /or other issues. Mine came back positive. That does not mean that I have cancer. It does mean that I have to do the colonoscopy I was hoping to avoid. The procedure itself isn’t that bad. It’s the prep that sucks! They want everything sqeeky clean (not that I blame them) so I’ll get to spend all of the night before running back and forth to the bathroom. Such fun!! 🤪 I’m scheduled to have it done on the 27th. I will, of course, let you know how that turns out.

So there you have it. My goal is to focus on the positive as much as possible. Learning new things and writing both make me feel happy and productive.

Anyone who has thoughts about short story writing, how to set up a really good website, a new name for the blog, or any other thoughts… Please feel free to share them.

Until next time…

Lessons learned

I find it quite ironic that by the time we (parents) finally figure it all out, the children are no longer there to benefit from that knowledge.

Hello dear reader,

The last time I wrote I was trying to explain how St. George is one of the positive things in my life.  I got sidetracked (as usual) but that’s part of who I am and the things I deal with.  One last thing I want to explain about the meals we cook five days a week is that everything is donated.  This makes cooking there different from cooking anywhere else.  Normal cooking involves deciding what to make and gathering the ingredients to make it.  Cooking at St. George is the exact opposite of normal.  When you get there you see what has come in and what leftovers there might be from the day before and you figure out what you can make with what you have.  This involves a lot of creativity and experimentation.  But somehow it always works.  I’ve been working with St. George for over 11 years and there has never been a time we didn’t have food.  We feed, on average, 50 people a day.  One last thing…nobody will ever ask you to come to church, preach at you, ask you for money, etc.  The meals are simply a place where people from all walks of life gather over food and create community.  Isn’t that cool?

Okay, enough about that.  My kids have really been on my mind lately.  They always are, but some times are harder than others.  This is a harder time.  I miss them like crazy.  I would give anything to go back to when they were little and all home.  I can look back now and see so many mistakes I made in raising them, but I did the best I could with what I had at the time.  I didn’t have a “childhood” like many people.  I spent those years wishing and waiting for the time I could leave home.  I was determined that my children would have a childhood where they would be able to look back and remember those days as happy and fun.  I wanted them to have good memories of growing up.  My only guidance in how to parent my children was to do the opposite of what my parents did. 

I do not believe in physical punishment.  All that does, in my opinion, is teach children that if someone isn’t doing what you want them to, then you simply hurt them until they do.  Let me be very clear here…I believe children need discipline and structure.  It makes them feel safe and secure.  They know what to expect and they don’t live in constant fear never knowing what will happen.  I do not believe in physical discipline.  I can honestly say that my children were very well mannered and well behaved children.  I heard that from many people.  Off on another sidetrack. 

The point is that kids don’t come with instructions and even if they did you’d need separate ones for each child.  Hindsight, as the saying goes, is 20/20.  I would have loved to know then what I know now.  My children are all grown and have lives of their own.  That’s what we try to prepare them for, isn’t it?  While I know I messed up a lot, they’re all living happy and successful lives.  They all know how to give and receive love.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s the definition of successful.  So I must have done something right. 

I find it quite ironic that by the time we (parents) finally figure things out, our children are no longer there to benefit from that knowledge.  I think the biggest lesson I learned was how important it is to listen, really listen to our children.  A five year old telling you in detail about everything that happened at school today (who got in trouble, who they played with at recess, what they drew, what they had for lunch and whether they liked it or it was gross, what movie they watched, whether or not they slept at rest time, you get the point) can seem very trivial, even irritating, especially when you’re trying to get something else done.  However, ten years later when they want to talk to you about the pressure they feel from their boyfriend (or girlfriend) to have sex or use drugs, now that’s important to us!  The thing people don’t seem to get is that in your child’s eyes they are equally important at the time.  Here’s the real kicker….if you didn’t stop to listen to them when they were five and what happened at school today was important tothem then by the time what they have to say is important to you they’ve given up trying to make you listen.  The bottom line is that the dishes and laundry and other housework is always going to be there.  Your children aren’t. The things that matter to them are important, no matter the age or topic.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these things. So please feel free to hit that little comment box and tell me how you feel about it.

Until next time….